One Year

It was one year ago today that after an eight month battle with brain cancer, my Mom passed away. As she left, I sat with my family around her bed wondering how I was going to make it through the rest of my life without her. I can't say I've done anything magical or that it has been a breeze, but here we are a year later and I'm still standing...mostly.

The most amazing thing to happen since Mom's passing is that I feel more of her with me than ever before. I notice every manerism that I get from her, I notice every habit I've picked up, I feel her advice in a tough situation, even though she isn't physically there to give it. It is a testament to what an amazing mother she was. She taught me and allowed me to learn enough from her, that I'm able to go on in her absence. It would be AMAZINGLY better if she was right here (and what I wouldn't give if that were so), but she has left such a permanent mark on my heart, that I'm never really without her. It's strange, but I feel more and more like her every day. She is what I strive to be like.

I miss you Mom. It sounds so inadequate. If I screamed it til my lungs gave out, I don't think that would fully express it. But please know that you've been everything to me that a mother could possibly be. I have the tools to continue the rest of my life because of you. I will honor and love you until we see each other again. I LOVE YOU.